Parody of "99 problems" by Jay-Z
by AS AP AK
If you're having math problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but this calc ain't one
I’ve got unknown graphs with no asymptotes
First we gotta make sure to find the slopes
Lines cant make sharp turns like alex c koh
I’m in class stupid aint got discontinutities tho
Derivatives fail with vert tangents yoDe
Now celebrate the minute you’ll be passing so
I’m like math critics you can kiss my whole a-whole
I mean this type of hole where the graph fails more
got beef with eighty-four if they can’t find the hole
They don’t solve calc probs well I can solve a slope SO
Cheaters try and use my black CAS
So AP Graders give them more points too bad - Cheaters
I don’t know what you take me as
Or understand the rate of change that AP has
I’m the rate of change solva I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but this calc ain’t one
Hit me
Hook
My grade is 94 and I know L’Hopital
In my rear view mirror is the most important law
I've got two choices y’all integrate by parts or
Fail this integral put the pedal to the floor
U dv can be written anew
So I got a UV minus v Du
So I turn itin to the side of the tray I hear
“Son do you know what I’m failing you for”
Cause I’m fast and I’m young and my works not checked
Do I look like a math grader sir, my grade’s wrecked
Is my grade not best or should I guess some more
“Well you got a 55 then a 54
“Green card and calculator step away from the desk
“Do you know how to integrate? this work sure is grotesque
“It's the area under a curve now watch and observe
Do you mind if I show you how to integrate with verve
Well let's take a transcendental and make lotsa rectangles
So how many you ask? Infinite amounts; don’t get it tangled
Aren’t you sharp as a tack you think you a cheater or something
Some type of teacher or something
Nah I ain’t passed the STAAR but I know my calculus
We’ll see what grade you get when the APs come
I got 99 problems but this calc aint one
Hit me
Hook
Let’s talk about series and all the tests
First look at the nth term; it aint zero then rest
This is one that goes all apart no matter what happens
If it isn't working then move on to another, try the next things
Lets try the comparisons, limit and direct
Compare them, stack them high must be plus when checked
They must be same, play at the same end game
But wouldn’t it be great if you could name
And only look at what is changing so
We can get to solving and
Geometric gon’ be bringing all the grades in
And then make sure R is less than one again
Next to p series is the difference again
Greater than one, converges again
Integrals can be useful, you check them
PCD that means the series (con)verges again
‘ternating ones require one more plan
Must decrease to zero and its covergent
Ratio test is last its n plus one
Put it over n less than one you done
I got 99 problems but doing calc aint one
Hit me
Hook x 2
SOURCES:
Calculus:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5Y1BxtjkMc
Stand and Deliver
Images: Pulled from stock Google Images
99 Problems, from the Black Album.
Jay-Z, S. Carter Enteriprises, LLC. Distributed by Roc Nation.
2003
