Created and Composed by Andrew Rudge and Daniel Hauersperger
Lyrics
Plant Cell
Biology, the study of life
Listen close don't give me your strife.
I have just a couple of things to say
'cause plant cells are better and here to stay.
Let's start with the flaws of my eukaryote friends.
This might take a while because the list doesn't end.
The shape of your membrane is boring and bland
Get a cell wall and be strong like a man.
Before you run away and hide
I'll give you a chance, I'll hear your side.
Animal Cell
At least running is something I'm able to do
Powered strong by metabolizing you
Chloroplasts aren't too fast
Doing such a "simple" task
Turning the sun's rays into food
I've seen solar panels do better than you!
My lysosomes will chew you to pieces
Like that (snap) before you finish cytokinesis.
Speaking of cell division you pay the tolls
that come with the absence of centrioles.
You work around the rigid cell plate
which in later stages gives your immobile fate.
Plant Cell
Photosynthesis you've gotten used to it
because you're way too dependent on oxygen.
Chloroplasts, a gift from above
producing glucose that we all deeply love.
Thylakoids stacked nicely in grana
(are) all suspended in liquid stroma.
Oh yeah, about the cell cycle
I've observed you haven't set too high goals.
Most of your life is in interphase
You barely reproduce, let alone get a date
During cytokinesis you look like a butt-
the cleavage furrow, I'm telling you what.
The cell plate is great, simple and straight.
It's futuristic and the present day rave.
Animal Cell
Ninety percent of your volume's a trash can
Sucking up water, it's big and fat, man.
Here's something nice and true and factual-
I look with disdain at you central vacuole.
*Break down some sugars, pick up the tempo*
Polyploidy?
Those are errors boy!
Broccoli from mustard?
You can thank me, buster!
All my mitochondria,
They're pretty fond of ya.
I made hundreds of new species
but take out the rainforest.
Took out 67 acres while I'm spittin' this chorus
Now here's some feces
Go fertilize your florets.
Don't try to counter, you're already hurt.
Get back on the ground and eat some more dirt.
Plant Cell
"did you just dis my central vacuole"
"you bet I did"
"anger"
90% trash, no 90% flash
full of pigment that are/is sure to attract
unless if its poisons that bring the hurt
a strong blade against herbivores
unpalatable compounds are stored as well
if you try to eat them you won't fell swell
i am not too nice, a little too mean
and you'll never be... never be... better than...
*animal cell is about to respond when*
Prokaryotic Cells..
(What's he doing here)
No nucleus, no problem (x3)
Gonna show how it's done old school
Grandpa P, that's fine by me
since I've been 'round for longer than you'll ever hope to be.
Been winning these battles 3.5 billion years.
You may walk away but it will be in tears
(I'm) structurally simple, chemically complex.
In the timeline of Earth, you are nothing but specks.
Fimbriae, I stick to stuff.
Flagella, I move to stuff.
Bacterial chromosome, I code for stuff.
Nucleoid, I hold coding stuff.
I gave you
Chloroplasts you're welcome
Mitochondria you're welcome
Decomposers you're welcome
Fermentation you're welcome
Oil spill cleaning you're welcome
Yoghurt and bread you're welcome
Clean water you're welcome
Fertile soil you're welcome
Digestion you're welcome
Base for evolution you're welcome
Who needs membrane bound organelles,
When you're the oldest, the baddest, the base of the cells!
