SAMPLE ESSAYS
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Candidate A.
To begin with pollution and damage to the environment is the most serious and difficult problem for countries
of all over the world. Scientists of different countries predict a global ecocatastrophe if people won’t change
their attitude to our planet.
First of all a huge damage to the environment brings a transport. People can’t imagine their living without
cars, buses, trains, ships and planes. But it’s an open secret that one of disadvantage of these accustomed
things is harmful exhaust. Needless to say that use of environment friendly engines helps us to save
atmosphere from pollution.
In addition to this our rivers and seas are in not less danger situation. It’s a fact of common knowledge that
numerous factories and plants pour off their waste to ponds. Obviously that cleaning manufacturing water
helps to avoid extinction of ocean residents.
Apart from this I’m inclined to believe that every person can and must contribute to solving this important
problem. Doing a little steps for protection our environment every day we will be able to save our Earth. And
it’s a task of each of us.
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Examiner comments:
* Content (mark 4):
All content is relevant to the task. However, the target reader is on the whole informed, rather than being fully informed.
Both numbered points (transport; rivers and seas) are referred to with some discussion of the problems caused (harmful
exhaust; factories which pour off their waste to ponds) and some limited mention of solutions.
No tangible 3rd aspect of environmental damage is discussed.
While the writer does conclude with a strong statement of opinion (every person can and must) the reader is not fully
informed on the solutions proposed (Doing a little steps for protection our environment every day we will be able to save our
Earth).
* Communicative Achievement (mark 3):
The essay is written in a consistently neutral register and the format is appropriate for the communicative task, using
more formal language to introduce the ideas within the text (To begin with; First of all; It’s a fact of common knowledge).
There is a clear essay structure with an opening statement, topic paragraphs and a conclusion which sums up the
writer’s point of view.
Straightforward ideas are communicated to the target reader but when more complex ideas are attempted these are
sometimes not as successful (Obviously that cleaning manufacturing water helps to avoid extinction of ocean residents).
* Organisation (mark 3):
The text is generally well organised and coherent using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices, particularly to
introduce the ideas throughout the text (To begin with; In addition to this; Needless to say; Apart from this).
The essay is clearly organised into paragraphs, which each deal with one idea. Occasionally the follow-up examples are
not as clearly connected as they could be. For example, they discuss how factories pollute pond water and then offer a
solution which would help ocean residents.
* Language (mark 3):
There is a range of everyday vocabulary used appropriately with some attempt to use more sophisticated lexis (a global
ecocatastrophe; atmosphere; common knowledge; factories and plants; inclined to believe; must contribute to solving).
There is a range of simple and some more complex grammatical forms used, and although there are errors, these do not
impede communication (a huge damage; People can’t imagine their living without cars; one of disadvantage; in not less danger
situation).
